An elderly lady from a remote little town went to one of Philadelphia’s most fashionable suburbs to visit her niece and husband.
Nearby was a very well known golf course.
On the second afternoon of her visit, the elderly lady went for a stroll.
Upon her return, the young niece asked,
“Well, Auntie, did you enjoy yourself?”
“Oh, yes, indeed,” said Auntie, beaming.
“Before I had walked very far,” she continued,
“I came to some beautiful rolling fields. There seemed to be a number of people about, mostly men. Some of them kept shouting at me in a very eccentric manner, but I took no notice.
There were four men who followed me for some time, uttering curious excited barking sounds. Naturally, I ignored them, too.”
“Oh, by the way,” she added, as she held out her hands,
“I found a number of these curious little round white balls, so I picked them all up and brought them home hoping you could explain what they’re for.”
--A Man With An Elephant Walks Into A Movie Theatre--
One day a man with an elephant walks into a movie theatre:
“I’m afraid I can’t let your elephant in here, sir.” The manager says.
“Oh, I assure you, he’s very well behaved.” The man says.
“All right then.” The manager says.
“If you’re sure.”
After the movie, the manager says to the man.
“I’m very surprised! Your elephant was well behaved, and he even seemed to enjoy the movie!”
“Yes, I was surprised, too.” Says the man.
“He hated the book.”
--An Old Farmer Was Farming And Minding His Own Business--
An Old Farmer Was Farming And Minding His Own Business.
“There has been a wild Forest Man seen in the forest. He has little beady red eyes, and hair all over. Be careful, he might be dangerous”
The old farmer shrugged and continued with his farm.
About an hour later, the farmer spotted a very hairy man, with little beady red eyes hiding behind a bush at the edge of the forest.
At first, the farmer was worried for his life but noticed how this forest man did not move, but just stared at the farmer.
The farmer thought maybe this forest man is not dangerous, maybe he could make friends with him.
The farmer cautiously approached the forest man (who was still hiding behind the bush), pointed at his farm and said “farm”, he points at himself and said “farmer” then pointed at his hoe and said “farming”.
The forest man did not move.
The old farmer got a little closer to him, and again, pointed at his farm and said “farm”, pointed at himself and said “farmer”, then pointed at his hoe and said “farming”.
The forest man remained behind his bush.
The old farmer, feeling bold, got even closer and repeated with his actions “farm”, “farmer”, “farming”.
This time the forest man got up and pointed at the forest behind him and said “forest”, he pointed at himself and said “forest man”, he pointed at the bush and said
“Taking a sh!t”.
