A 90 year-old man marries a beautiful 25 year-old woman.
They go on their honeymoon to beautiful, picturesque Venice, Italy.
After a day of sightseeing, they return to their hotel. He turns to his young bride and says, “Honey, I’m tired after all this excitement. I’m going to go to bed. See you in the morning.”
She say “Ok”, and off he goes to bed, while she stays in the living room of their honeymoon suite.
11pm that night, he comes into the living room and begins to make passionate love to his new wife.
Once they finish up, he once again excuses himself and goes back to bed.
The young woman is so exhausted, that she falls asleep right there on the couch.
1am that same night, he comes into the living room again, wakes her up again, and they once again make passionate, incredible, mind-blowing love. She’s amazed at his stamina and performance, especially for a man as old as he is! This time was better than the last, too!
Once again, they finish up and he goes off to bed. She, same as before, passes out on the couch with a smile from ear to ear.
3am that same night, he once AGAIN comes into the living room and wakes her, ready to kick off round three.
This time, she stops her stallion of a husband and asks him, “Dear, how do you do it?! How can you come in here two times already tonight and be ready for a third go?!”
He looks at her with a twinkle in his eye and says,
“I was here twice already?!”
--This Farmer Found Himself In A Totally Weird Situation--
A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk.
A man came in and asked the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?”
The farmer shook his head and replied, “Some things you just can’t explain.”
“So what happened that’s so horrible?” the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
“Well,” the farmer said, “today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket.”
“Okay,” said the man, “but that’s not so bad.”
“Some things you just can’t explain,” the farmer replied.
“So what happened then?” the man asked. The farmer said, I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.”
“And then?”
“Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.”
The man laughed and said, “Again?” The farmer replied, “Some things you just can’t explain.” “So, what did you do then?” the man asked.
“I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.”
“And then?”
Well, I sat back down and began milking her again.
“Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.”
“Hmmm,” the man said and nodded his head. “Some things you just can’t explain,” the farmer said.
So, what did you do?” the man asked
“Well,” the farmer said, “I didn’t have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.
In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in Some things you just can’t explain.”
