An old lady went to a bank intending to withdraw money…
The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said,
“I would like to withdraw $500.”
The female teller told her,
“For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.”
The old lady then asked, “Why?”
The teller irritably told her,
“These are rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a queue behind you.”
She then returned the card to the old lady.
The old lady remained silent.
But she returned the card to the teller and said,
“Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance.
She nodded her head, leaned down and said to the old lady,
“My apologies Granny, you have $3.5 million in your account and our bank does not have so much cash currently.
Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?”
The old lady then asked, “How much am I able to withdraw now?”
The teller told her, “Any amount up to $300,000”
The old lady then told the teller that she wanted to withdraw $300,000 from her account.
The teller did so quickly and handed it to the old lady respectfully.
The old lady kept $500 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit the balance of $299,500 back into her account.
--A Young Lady Is Working At An Old People’s Home--
A young lady is working at an old people’s home when she walks into an old gentleman’s room.
He’s holding a set of photographs and looks upset.
“What’s the matter?” She asks
“I’ve got no-one to pass these onto to when I go”. Says the old man, looking at his photos
“Let me show you” and he presents her with a photo of an old car,
“this is my vintage E type Jaguar. It’s priceless and in pristine condition”
“I’ll… I’ll let you have it if you just give me a quick flash of those lovely bre@sts.”
Interested in the prospect of inheriting the old man’s car and feeling a bit sorry for the old geezer, she agrees and proceeds to undress for him.
Looking visibly happier, he pulls out another photo,
“This is my house in Devon. It’s an 8 bedroom mansion with a swimming pool and 25 acres of land.”
“You can have it, only, I’d love to see those bre@sts bouncing.
She thinks about this for a few seconds, then agrees and proceeds to jump up and down topless in front of the old man.
Now vibrant, the old man grabs another photo and says
“here, look, this is my yacht off of the coast of Gibraltar.”
“It’s yours if you could just let me play with those spiffing bre@sts of yours for a couple of minutes.”
Deciding it’s worth it, she leans forward and lets the old man have a good fumble of her jubblies.
Wide-eyed and with a cheeky grin on his face, the old man says,
“thank you so much, my dear.”
He stands up and hands her the three photographs.
