A Wife Went To Doctor

A wife from Montana had an appointment with her doctor to ask for advice on how to treat her husband’s lack of $.e./x d.r/i.ve.

“Have you tried Viagra?” the doctor asked.

“Not a chance,” the lady replied, “He doesn’t even take aspirin.”

“Not a problem,” the doctor replied, “Just give him some Montana Viagra.” “What’s Montana Viagra?”“It’s simple.

You discretely put the Viagra into his coffee when he’s not looking. He won’t be able to taste it.”

“Try it out and get back to me in a week and tell me about the results.”

A week later ... A week later, the lady called the doctor.

“Oh my lord!” she wailed, “Terrible! Just terrible.” “Really? What happened?” the doctor replied.

“I did as you told me, I put the pill into the coffee, and the effect was immediate.”

“He flew up from the chair, and his eyes were positively smoldering.”

“With a quick motion he swept all the cups and the tablecloth from the table, ripped my clothes off and took me then and there on the table.”

“It was a nightmare I tell you, a nightmare.” “Oh, I see, but why was it so bad, shouldn’t this be a good thing?”

the doctor asked in a worried tone.

“Oh yes, this was the best thing to happen to me in 25 years!”

“But I can tell you right now, I will never be able to show my face in the downtown Starbucks again!

--The bacon tree--

Juan and Carlos have been stranded in the desert for 2 days.

They are on the verge on dying of thirst when Juan sees something in the distance. He gets closer to confirm his suspicions - off in the distance is an incredibly juicy bacon tree.

"Mira!!" (Look!) "Carlos! Up ahead, it's a bacon tree!! A juicy delicious bacon tree!"

At this point Juan takes off in a sprint towards the bacon tree when out of nowhere he is gunned down! Carlos runs to Juan's side as he lay there dying.

Juan looks at Carlos and, with his final breaths, manages to say "

Carlos, mi amigo, it was not a bacon tree. It was a ham bush."

The Bride Who Knew More Than She Shoul

From the start, I knew this wedding would be the perfect backdrop to reveal a secret. Greg thought he had it all figured out, yet he didn’t know, I was the one holding the detonator. My wedding with Greg looked like something straight out of a fairytale. Greg stood at the altar, beaming. To him, it marked the beginning of our perfect life. But to me, it was the end of a beautiful lie. The reception played out like a dream—champagne toasts, laughter floating across the lawn, his parents acting like the perfect in-laws. And me? I played my part to perfection. For illustrative purpose only Smiling, even dancing with Greg as if everything were fine. But inside, I was just waiting for the right moment to drop the bomb. When the night wore on, Greg grew more eager for our wedding night. His hands lingered too long, his eyes shined with anticipation. But I was focused on my own plan. After the guests left and his parents retreated to the guest rooms downstairs, Greg led me to t...

my MIL and Husband’s Sisters weren’t ready

My husband’s family didn’t know I’d concealed something special among those chocolate bunnies when they hired me as their Easter maid. What occurred next still makes me laugh. I’ve never posted my dirty laundry online. Really, I’m not. The Easter event was too lovely not to share. I’m Emma, 35, a marketing director for a mid-sized company, and married to Carter for three great years. Carter fulfills all my needs. He’s kind, witty, and can load a dishwasher. Our relationship has been nearly perfect except for one major concern. HIS FAMILY. “Emma, honey, could you grab me another mimosa while you’re up?” I’d barely taken two steps toward the kitchen when my mother-in-law Patricia’s voice floated over our rear patio last month. She’d been sitting in her comfy lounge chair for nearly an hour. I don’t gripe about everything. Social media isn’t where I vent or publish passive-aggressive status updates. Carter’s mother and sisters, Sophia, Melissa, and Hailey, are exceptional. By excep...

Richard Miller’s world fell silent in 1979

Richard Miller’s existence had been reduced to silence by 1979. He was a widow at the age of thirty-four; his wife, Aipe, had passed away two years prior following a protracted illness. His residence, which was previously replete with the aspirations of children, now resounded with a sense of absence. Richard’s evenings were the most challenging: He sat at the kitchen table, gazing at the disintegrating painted paper under the yellowish light of a single bulb, while the ticking of the clock reminded him to pass the time. His acquaintances encouraged him to remarry, to begin anew, and to alleviate the emptiness. However, Richard was not inclined to initiate anew. He was obligated to fulfill the pledge Apple had made to him on the hospital bed: “Do not allow love to perish with me.” Please provide me with a destination. The promise he made motivated him to continue, as he was uncertain of the direction it would lead until his old, rainy pickup vehicle malfunctioned near...

Grandma funnies

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