Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
In honor of this holy season, Saint Peter said, you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on.
It represents a candle, he said.
You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, They’re bells.
Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, And just what do those symbolize?
The man replied, They’re Carols.
--The Dog Could Hardly Hear--
The lady found out that the Dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear,
So she took it to the Veterinarian.
The Vet found that the problem was Hair in the Dog’s Ears.
He cleaned both ears, and the Dog could then hear fine.
The Vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some “Nair” hair remover and rub it in the Dog’s Ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some “Nair” hair remover.
At the register, the Pharmacist told her,
“If you’re going to use this under your arms, don’t use deodorant for a few days.”
*Andrea said, “I’m not using it under my arms.”
The Pharmacist said,
“If you’re using it on your legs, don’t use Body Lotion for a couple of days.”
Andrea replied,
“I’m not using it on my Legs either”.
If you must know, I’m using it on my Schnauzer.”
The Pharmacist said,
“Well, stay off your Bicycle for at least a week”.
