The Essex girl went to the clinic with her newborn for the first time.
A rather posh looking lady sat by her side: After a while the lady introduced herself, telling the girl that this was her third child and she was to be called Samantha, Amanda, Fawcett.
The girl smiled politely and said.
"That's nice innit." The woman carried on. "For my first child my husband gave me a diamond necklace as a gift for being so clever." To which the girl replied.
"That's nice innit?" "And for my second child, he gave me a fur coat."
The girl nodded politely, "That's very nice, innit?" The posh lady was well into her stride now.
"For this child he's taking me on a cruise." The Essex girl smiled again, "That's nice innit?" The posh lady said. "And has your husband given YOU something for the birth?" "Oh yes." The girl said. "He bought me some elocution lessons." "Oh and have you learned anything from them?" "Certainly." The Essex girl said. "I've learned to say 'That's nice innit', instead of fuck off."
--A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walks into a pub in Dublin--
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walks into a pub in Dublin She raises her right arm, revealing a huge hairy armpit. She points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?”.
The bar goes silent as the patrons try to ignore her.
But down at the end of the bar, an old, owly-eyed drunk slams his hand down on the counter and bellows, “Give the ballerina a drink!”.
The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down.
She turns to the patrons and again points around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asks, ‘What man here will buy a lady a drink?”.
Once again, the same little ole drunk slaps his money down on the bar and says, “Give the ballerina another drink!”.
The bartender approaches the little ole drunk and says, “Tell me, Paddy, it’s your own darn business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why in tarnation do you keep calling her the ballerina?”.
The drunk replies, “Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!”🤣🤣
