Four older women are sitting around playing Bridge.
The first lady says, “You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest.
I am a kleptomaniac.
But, don’t worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been friends for too long.”
The second Lady says, “Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too.
I am a nymphomaniac.
But don’t worry, I have never made a play for your husbands.
They don’t interest me and never will; we have been friends for too long.”
“Well,” says the third lady, “I, too, must confess something.
I am a lesbian.
But do not worry, I will not bother you.
You are not my type.
We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship.”
The fourth lady stands up, says, “I have a confession to make also.
I am an uncontrollable gossip, and I have some phone calls to make!”
--Johnny And His Dad Are Going For A Walk--
Little Johnny and his dad are going for a walk in the park where they see two dogs humping.
Johnny asks “Dad, what are those dogs doing?”
The dad gets flustered and says “They are making a puppy” Later that night Johnny hears strange noises coming from his parent’s room.
When he goes to investigate he sees his dad laying on top of his mom.
Johnny asks. “What are you doing?”
The dad says “We are making you a little brother” To that Johnny replies “Well roll the b!tch over cuz I rather have a puppy”
