Grandma is seeing that her grandchild, a young woman, is getting ready to go out, dressing up nicely and being all nervous.
So she asked her grandchild about her plans.
"Why, I am going out on my first date with a handsome young fella, Grandma! I am so excited!"
The Grandma raised her eyebrows, shook her head and said with a concerned voice: "My child, watch yourself – all men are the same! He will take you out for drinks, he will give you sweet compliments, touch your hand, caress your hair and buy you another drink. Then he'll bring you to his place, just for a coffee and to listen to music, so he'll say – yet he'll give you another drink, blow softly in your ear, tug at your dress strap and before you know you'll be undressed – he'll jump you and dishonor your entire family!"
"Oh Grandma, don't be so dramatic!" the young woman exclaimed, and off she went.
The next day, the young woman went to find her Grandma excitedly. "Grandma! Grandma, you were right, all men are the same!"
"Oh no dear, what happened?!" the Grandma exclaimed.
The young woman went "Oh Grandma, it was like you said – He took me out for drinks, he gave me the sweetest compliments, touched my hand, caressed my hair and bought me another drink.
Then he brought me to his place, just for a coffee and to listen to music, or so he said – yet he gave me another drink, blew softly in my ear, tugged at my dress strap and before I knew I was undressed."
The Grandma gasped.
"But Grandma, don't worry, because right then – I jumped on HIM and dishonored HIS entire family!"
-- Timothy was visiting his grandparents --
for the weekend. He had just turned 3 years old, and his parents was happy to get a weekend off. His grandparents was very religious people, and did not take care for foul language. Grandma Betty Lou and her friends, Gabby, Millie and Martha had taken Timothy to the playground. Timothy was sliding, swinging ang enjoying himself. Granny Betty Lou was proudly showing off her grandson to her friends, when Timothy suddenly shouted "Grandmother, I need to take a piss!". Betty Lou hurried over to Timothy, as fast as her arthritis-ridden legs could carry her, afraid she would have to sit alone at church, having a grandchild with such foul language. "Oh, Timothy" She said. "Don't speak like that!".
"But I really have to piss, grandma!" Timothy replied. Betty Lou patted Timothy on the head and said "If you have you pee, just say you have to whistle, and I'll take you to the toilet, dear". Gladly it seemed like Gabby, Millie and Martha didn't catch Timothy's rude outburst. They went to the toilet and Betty Lou's perfect grandson-image was saved.
Later that same evening, Timothy was neatly tucked in. Grandpa Harry and Grandmother Betty Lou had been watching TV and Betty Lou was completely knocked out after running after Timothy all day in the park.
"Grandma!" Timmy shouted. Betty Lou was fast asleep, so grandpa Harry went to check what he wanted. Grandpa Harry went into the guest room where little Timothy was sleeping.
"Grandpa. I need to whistle". Harry looked a little confused at Timothy and said "No, it's time to sleep now, Timmy. We can whistle tomorrow if you want". "Oh, but I really need to whistle!".
Grandpa Harry was firmer in his tone "Timmy, you can't whistle now, grandma is sleeping. You'll wake her". But Timothy was very persistent and kept on begging Harry. He sat down on the edge of the bed and said, "Ok, Timothy, whistle quietly into my ear then"...
