The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have s./e:/x.
His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week.
As you get older, you have s/:e/.x maybe once a month.
When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year -- maybe on your anniversary.
" The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?" His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral se:x now.
She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom.
She yells, 'Fuck you,' and I holler back, 'Fuck you, too!'"
--Two Drinking Buddies Made A Night Of It--
Two drinking buddies made a night of it.
As they closed the last bar in town, one admitted to the other:
“God, I hate getting in at this hour.
All I want to do is take my shoes off and crawl into bed, but Marge always wakes up and nags the shit out of me for what seems like hours.”
“Sneaking’s not the way to do it,” said his buddy conspiratorially as they staggered arm in arm down the sidewalk.
“Try slamming the front door, stomping upstairs, and yelling: ‘Hey, baby, let’s make love.’
My wife always pretends she’s sound asleep.”
