An Old Couple has Memory Problems

An Old Couple has Memory Problems They both continually struggle with short term memory issues, forgetting their keys, glasses and everything else you could possibly imagine!

One day they went to the doctors to ask him what they could do.

He told them that one of the best things they can do is write everything down.

Not only can they look back on their notes to remember, but it helps to solidify it in your brain.

That night the couple was at home watching television when the gentleman abruptly got up and announced to his wife, "My dear, I simply mist get some ice cream, do you care for any as well?" She replied "Oh yes!

Chocolate ice cream with cherries! Maybe you should write it down?" "No no, that's simple, chocolate ice cream with cherries"

"Oh but I also want some whipped topping please. I really think you should write this down..."

"Its simple dear, chocolate ice cream, cherries and whipped topping.

I couldn't possible forget that!" With that he headed off to the kitchen, repeating under his breath "chocolate ice cream, cherries, whipped topping, chocolate ice cream, cherries, whipped topping" He is in the kitchen for 15 minutes, when he finally emerges he is holding a plate with eggs and bacon on it.

"I knew you would have written it down! Where's my toast!?"

--A kid is running around the house when he runs upstairs and finds his dad shaving in the bathroom--

A kid is running around the house when he runs upstairs and finds his dad shaving in the bathroom.

The dad cuts himself and yells "shit." The kid asks, "dad, what's shit?" "Oh it's shaving cream." The kid says "ok" and runs around again.

He goes into the kitchen and his mom is cutting the turkey.

She cuts herself with a knife and says "fuck." The kid asks, "mom, what's f:uc:k?" "Umm cutting the turkey honey." Kid says "ok" and runs around again. The doorbell rings and the mom yells out "the assholes are here!" Kid asks, "who are the assholes?" "Your grandparents honey.

Go open the door." The kid opens the door and says "Hi assholes.

Dad's upstairs putting shit on his face and mom's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

The Bride Who Knew More Than She Shoul

From the start, I knew this wedding would be the perfect backdrop to reveal a secret. Greg thought he had it all figured out, yet he didn’t know, I was the one holding the detonator. My wedding with Greg looked like something straight out of a fairytale. Greg stood at the altar, beaming. To him, it marked the beginning of our perfect life. But to me, it was the end of a beautiful lie. The reception played out like a dream—champagne toasts, laughter floating across the lawn, his parents acting like the perfect in-laws. And me? I played my part to perfection. For illustrative purpose only Smiling, even dancing with Greg as if everything were fine. But inside, I was just waiting for the right moment to drop the bomb. When the night wore on, Greg grew more eager for our wedding night. His hands lingered too long, his eyes shined with anticipation. But I was focused on my own plan. After the guests left and his parents retreated to the guest rooms downstairs, Greg led me to t...

my MIL and Husband’s Sisters weren’t ready

My husband’s family didn’t know I’d concealed something special among those chocolate bunnies when they hired me as their Easter maid. What occurred next still makes me laugh. I’ve never posted my dirty laundry online. Really, I’m not. The Easter event was too lovely not to share. I’m Emma, 35, a marketing director for a mid-sized company, and married to Carter for three great years. Carter fulfills all my needs. He’s kind, witty, and can load a dishwasher. Our relationship has been nearly perfect except for one major concern. HIS FAMILY. “Emma, honey, could you grab me another mimosa while you’re up?” I’d barely taken two steps toward the kitchen when my mother-in-law Patricia’s voice floated over our rear patio last month. She’d been sitting in her comfy lounge chair for nearly an hour. I don’t gripe about everything. Social media isn’t where I vent or publish passive-aggressive status updates. Carter’s mother and sisters, Sophia, Melissa, and Hailey, are exceptional. By excep...

Richard Miller’s world fell silent in 1979

Richard Miller’s existence had been reduced to silence by 1979. He was a widow at the age of thirty-four; his wife, Aipe, had passed away two years prior following a protracted illness. His residence, which was previously replete with the aspirations of children, now resounded with a sense of absence. Richard’s evenings were the most challenging: He sat at the kitchen table, gazing at the disintegrating painted paper under the yellowish light of a single bulb, while the ticking of the clock reminded him to pass the time. His acquaintances encouraged him to remarry, to begin anew, and to alleviate the emptiness. However, Richard was not inclined to initiate anew. He was obligated to fulfill the pledge Apple had made to him on the hospital bed: “Do not allow love to perish with me.” Please provide me with a destination. The promise he made motivated him to continue, as he was uncertain of the direction it would lead until his old, rainy pickup vehicle malfunctioned near...

Grandma funnies

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