So God goes to St Peter and says,”Heaven is getting too crowded, only let them in if their death was pretty bad.
If not, send them down.” St Peter’s thinking “Harsh but okay.”
A minute later a guy comes up and St Peter asks him how he dies and the guy says, “I came home from work to my 20th floor apartment and found my wife in bed naked and a mans clothes scattered around so I went ballistic! I saw a naked guy clinging on to the edge of my balcony by his fingertips so I stamped on his fingers until he fell…
but he landed in a hedge and survived” So I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him to finish him off but the stress and the adrenaline gave me a heart attack and here I am.”
St Peter thinks, “That sounds bad enough.” and lets him in. The next guy comes up and St Peter asks him how he died and the guy says, “Well I was doing naked yoga on my balcony 21 stories up and I slip and fall off the balcony but luckily I manage to grab onto the one below.
Then this guy runs out screaming and stamps on my hands and I fall 20 stores! But I land in a hedge and survive! I couldn’t believe my luck…
until I saw the guy chuck a damn fridge at me and BAM.
I’m dead.” So St Peter’s thinking that that sounds pretty familiar and he lets the guy in.
He calls the next one forward and asks him how he dies and the guy says, “Well I was hiding in this fridge…
--An 18 year old girl tells her Mum--
An 18 year old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her monthlies for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says ‘who was the pig that did this to you?
I want to know!’ The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later an AMG Mercedes stops in front of their house, a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Mercedes and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother and the girl, and tells them: Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the situation.
I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation but I’ll take responsibility for my actions I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account
. If a boy is born...
