Barry Had Long Heard The Stories


 Barry had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

 It seems that his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.

  On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

 So when Barry’s 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Slick took a boat out to the middle of the lake.

 Barry stepped out of the boat… and nearly drowned! Slick just barely managed to pull him to safety. 

 Furious and confused, Barry went to see his Grandmother.

 “Grandma he asked. “Tis me 18th birthday, so why can’t I walk across the lake like me father, his father and his father before him?” Granny looked deeply into Barry’s, troubled eyes and said. 

“Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born in December when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fooking idiot!”

 --A Dog Got Lost In An African Jungle When A Lion Spotted Him--

 Somehow a dog gets lost in an African jungle. 

 As he is finding his way a lion spots him. 

 The lion thinks since the dog is so small he will be easy pray.

 When the dog sees the lion he gets extremely scared and starts to run but he sees some bones and gets an idea.

 As the lion approaches he says “Mmmm, that was some good lion” The lion immediately realizes this dog is a lot tougher than he thought and runs off.

 But there was a monkey in a tree watching the whole time.

 The monkey decides if he tells the lion what had happened the lion might reward him.

 So he tells the lion and the lion tells him to get on his back so they can share the dog. 

As the lion and monkey find the dog, the dog spots them as well. 

The dog begins to run but has another idea, “Where is that monkey?

 I told him to bring me another lion hours ago!”

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