It was high time that Paddy got married.
So, his parents called a marriage broker in Dublin and ask him to find a good wife for their son:
The broker comes over to their house and spends a long time asking questions about Paddy and his parents as to what they want in a wife/daughter-in-law.
They give him a long list of requirements.
The marriage broker takes a long time looking here, there and everywhere and finally visits the family again with a prospective bride proposal.
He then tells them of a wonderful woman he has found.
He says:
“She’s just the right age for your son. She keeps a neat home, she is a good Catholic and knows the prayers by heart.
She is a wonderful cook, she loves children, wants a large family and to crown it all, she’s gorgeous.”
After hearing all this, the family is very impressed and begins to get excited about the prospects of a wedding in the near future.
But Paddy still has some lingering doubts and asks casually:
“Is she also good in bed?”
The marriage broker answers:
“Well, some say yes and some say no.”
--A King Who Wanted To Go Fishing--
Once upon a time, there was a king who wanted to go fishing.
He called the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours.
The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days.
So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen.
On the way, he met a farmer on his donkey.
Upon seeing the king the farmer said,
“Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area”.
The king was polite and considerate, he replied:
“I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional.
Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way.”
So, he continued on his way.
However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky.
The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the weatherman at once!
Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.
The farmer said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.”
So, the king hired the donkey.
And so began the practice of hiring a$ses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions … And the practice is unbroken to this date…
