Johnny wakes up in the morning.
He has a massive hangover and can’t remember anything he did last night.
He picks up his dressing gown from the floor and puts it on. He notices there’s something in one of the pockets and it turns out to be a bra.
He thinks to himself,
“Uh oh. What happened last night?”
He walks towards the bathroom and finds a pair of knickers in the other pocket of his gown.
Again he thinks,
“What happened last night. What have I done? It must have been a wild party,” making his best attempt to conclude and accept the evidence.
He opens the bathroom door, walks in and has a look in the mirror.
He notices a little string hanging out of his mouth and his only thought is
“If there’s a God, please let this be a tea bag.”
--The Farmer’s Kids Are Painting Eggs--
Some farmer’s kids are painting eggs for Easter.
One looks up and says,
“Hey, how do you think the chickens would act around these?”
I don’t know,” says the other.
“Let’s find out!”
They go into the chicken coop, steal the fresh eggs and replace them with the colourful eggs.
The kids step out and watch.
The hens come in and nothing, they go about their business.
The rooster struts in sees the eggs and has a fit.
He bursts out of the coop, storms across the farmyard, and beats the hell out of the peacock.
