Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up.
After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. The passenger screamed, "Look at the window. There's an old ghost's face there!"
Long
The driver sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window. The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?" The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?" The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to the driver, rolling up the window in terror.
A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again. The driver said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry we're doing 80 now."
All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared. "There he is again," the passenger yelled. He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?" "Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked. The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!"
They were flooring it and going about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more tapping.
"Oh my God! He's back!" The passenger rolled down the window and screamed in stark terror, "WHAT NOW?" The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"
--A Husband and Wife Talking--
WIFE: Darling why are you home this early wearing such a Long face?
HUSBAND: Had a terríble day, I lost all my colleagues today at work.
WIFE: Bloód of Jesus! What háppened?
HUSBAND: There was a Fíre óut break dówn the tunnel and everybody died!
WIFE: What a píty! Darling, I thank God for keeping You Alíve.🙏 How did you make it out my dear?
HUSBAND: Dárling, it was God’s Wórk. My stómach was upsétting me so, I took a bréak to eáse myself in the toílet.
WIFE: Darling, thank God you are alive. What would have happened to us??!!😢; I feel so much píty for their families, how are they going to survive now?
HUSBAND: My dear it’s a píty, but the UNITED NATIONS has decided to give the families of the deceased $10 million each.
WIFE: What? !!!! Ten míllion what? Chai!! Honey, you didn’t do well oo, why are you always ábsent when God wants to bléss us?
